August 13, 2012
Missionary Slim creates a meaningless statistic (Week 27 in Pennsylvania, Week 9 in Pittsburgh, PA)
It almost seems like I've been out of my area more than I've been in it this week. Seriously. Our district leader, Elder Van Der Spek (He's Belgian, and his name, roughly translated means 'of the bacon.' That might give you an idea about his personality too.), needs to exchange, or switch, with each elder in the district once during the transfer. He decided, to save on... something (I'm still trying to figure out his reasoning), he would exchange with both Elder Walker and I in the same week - not unheard of, but it is unusual. So, some of the stories for this week are going to be with people who do not live in my area, but are still investigating the one true church nonetheless.
The first was actually someone who used to live in my area, but moved very shortly after I got here - so shortly that I actually had the chance to call her on the phone, but never met her in person. Her name is Sandra, and she is hysterical. The whole time we were there, she was throwing jokes at us Elders, and we would just throw them back. She's super sincere, though, and is super excited to get baptized. Yes, she's getting baptized in two weeks. It's always reassuring, though, to see someone who really has found the answer for herself and is willing to act on it.
I think I'd better add one to the tally of types of people we've disputed with: Murderist. Yep. Don't ask me what it means, and don't Google it - if it's a real thing, this guy doesn't need any hits on his website. He was one of those people who was trying to catch us in our words and find a mistake. He would ask questions about God or the commandments, when we already knew that he is Atheist. We later found out what his agenda was. In keeping with the G-Rated theme of this blog, I'll just say he wants to legalize the breaking of just about every commandment. Seriously. He freaked out when we said we didn't trust him too, which, hello, was not a hard thing to do - he had giant, hideous tattoos all over his body and he was filming us and everything. So, again, if I pop up on YouTube, down-vote it the video.
Oh, and by the way. Elder Walker and Elder Van Der Spek were on exchange and ran into him again later during the week. He asked "Hey. Do you guys have anything else to say to me?"
"No, turn off that camera," Elder Van Der Spek said.
He recoiled and ran away.
Granted, I've met a lot of really nice people with tattoos. One guy stopped us on the street, talked to us about his family, and then straight-up asked if we wanted to come over and teach him. No joke.
So we were tracting, and ran into these two guys smoking on their porch. We couldn't tell from far away, but as soon as we started talking to them, we realized what they were smoking - yep. Weed. Regardless, we invited them to the YSA activities, and to learn about the church, etc., but they just blew second-hand death into our faces. Man, that stuff is noxious. It stuck in my throat for several minutes before the feeling went away completely. Don't smoke anything - it's gross, it doesn't make you look cool, and it makes you 60%* less likely to get into the Celestial Kingdom.
Elder Lucio and I taught someone that exact principle - actually, it was a member who relapsed. Fortunately, we had a solution - a problem-fixer, so to speak. A few months ago, our mission president sent us a "Stop Smoking in 7 Days" program which was written ages ago by a missionary who was severely under the influence of the Spirit - we're talking about fasting, prayer, serious study, temple visits - you name it. This program is supposedly so effective, people completely stop within 4 days. Crazy, I know.
Well, we went by to visit this woman and present this program. Holy cow, is it effective. Part 1: Crush your cigarettes in your hand. Grind them to a pulp. Throw them away. Part 2: Stop it! Don't ever smoke again. Here's what you do to make it so you don't want to smoke. Part 3: Here's what you do if you ever do want to smoke. The woman was shaking as she handed the cigarettes to me. I handed them back. She had to do it. She held her breath... and crushed them. It was awesome! With that one simple step, you could tell a burden was lifted. Just from that one choice, you could see the repentance process begin. It was cool.
Elder Walker and I tracted. A lot. One night, we came to a particular door, knocked, and waited. Out came a little old lady who, as far as I could tell, was literally glowing with the sheer joy and happiness she possessed. She smiled, and the first thing she said to us is "Well, isn't this unusual." We explained who we are and what we were doing, and she became even more surprised. Apparently, she'd never met missionaries before ("And I've been living here for 64 years!"). She's a "good Catholic," and loved the message we shared with her, but wasn't interested in learning more. But the whole time, she told us "You two are so unusual. Do you know that? Who does what you are doing?" Some college-age girls walked by and she said "They're probably very impressed with you because of what you are doing." (which is debatable). Regardless, she certainly brightened up my day and gave me a smile.
Brenda is doing great! We talked with her last night. For the past couple of weeks, our Ward Mission Leader has been encouraging us to reconsider teaching her. He's never met her though. We were thinking about it a lot, and finally decided we needed to have a "Come to Jesus" lesson and reset expectations to make sure she is actually worth our time to teach. And, for good measure, we brought the Mission Leader.
Holy cow. That lesson was like a bazooka of the spirit aimed right at the source of all evil. With our WML's help, we were able to explain to her baptism, ordinances, the church, the Gospel, prophets, authority, commitments, covenants, blessings, the atonement... all so clearly and powerfully. He fellow-shipped and invited and was just a pro. At the end of the lesson, she gave us a perfect Preach My Gospel answer: "So, you're not trying to take away from the things which I already know and do. You're trying to add to them." Yes, Brenda. Yes. No baptism date yet, but it's coming.
Immediately after that lesson, we stepped out of her house and were hailed down by a guy who was walking past. "HEY! Are you guys Mormons?" Our WML was the first to answer "Absolutely." We stopped right there, and he said he was looking for more in his life, and wanted to meet with us. He said we had tracted his neighborhood before, but he was in the shower. We said "Sure! When would you like to meet?" Without skipping a beat he said "Tomorrow." Sadly, we couldn't do it that day, but we did get an appointment for ACTUAL tomorrow, being Tuesday. We'll see where this goes. Just from our first impression of him, he might be the answer to our prayers for an investigator like Michael. We'll see.
So! Lots of cool stuff happened this week, but the rest of this transfer will be even better. Since we don't have to worry about exchanges anymore, we will be able to devote all of our time and attention to our own area and companionship. I only have 3 more weeks until the next transfer, and I very well could leave. We'll see what the Lord has in store for me.
Take care, yinz!
Love,
Elder Anderson, AKA Missionary Slim
*Actual figure dependent on your repentance and the mercy of the Lord.
The first was actually someone who used to live in my area, but moved very shortly after I got here - so shortly that I actually had the chance to call her on the phone, but never met her in person. Her name is Sandra, and she is hysterical. The whole time we were there, she was throwing jokes at us Elders, and we would just throw them back. She's super sincere, though, and is super excited to get baptized. Yes, she's getting baptized in two weeks. It's always reassuring, though, to see someone who really has found the answer for herself and is willing to act on it.
I think I'd better add one to the tally of types of people we've disputed with: Murderist. Yep. Don't ask me what it means, and don't Google it - if it's a real thing, this guy doesn't need any hits on his website. He was one of those people who was trying to catch us in our words and find a mistake. He would ask questions about God or the commandments, when we already knew that he is Atheist. We later found out what his agenda was. In keeping with the G-Rated theme of this blog, I'll just say he wants to legalize the breaking of just about every commandment. Seriously. He freaked out when we said we didn't trust him too, which, hello, was not a hard thing to do - he had giant, hideous tattoos all over his body and he was filming us and everything. So, again, if I pop up on YouTube, down-vote it the video.
Oh, and by the way. Elder Walker and Elder Van Der Spek were on exchange and ran into him again later during the week. He asked "Hey. Do you guys have anything else to say to me?"
"No, turn off that camera," Elder Van Der Spek said.
He recoiled and ran away.
Granted, I've met a lot of really nice people with tattoos. One guy stopped us on the street, talked to us about his family, and then straight-up asked if we wanted to come over and teach him. No joke.
So we were tracting, and ran into these two guys smoking on their porch. We couldn't tell from far away, but as soon as we started talking to them, we realized what they were smoking - yep. Weed. Regardless, we invited them to the YSA activities, and to learn about the church, etc., but they just blew second-hand death into our faces. Man, that stuff is noxious. It stuck in my throat for several minutes before the feeling went away completely. Don't smoke anything - it's gross, it doesn't make you look cool, and it makes you 60%* less likely to get into the Celestial Kingdom.
Elder Lucio and I taught someone that exact principle - actually, it was a member who relapsed. Fortunately, we had a solution - a problem-fixer, so to speak. A few months ago, our mission president sent us a "Stop Smoking in 7 Days" program which was written ages ago by a missionary who was severely under the influence of the Spirit - we're talking about fasting, prayer, serious study, temple visits - you name it. This program is supposedly so effective, people completely stop within 4 days. Crazy, I know.
Well, we went by to visit this woman and present this program. Holy cow, is it effective. Part 1: Crush your cigarettes in your hand. Grind them to a pulp. Throw them away. Part 2: Stop it! Don't ever smoke again. Here's what you do to make it so you don't want to smoke. Part 3: Here's what you do if you ever do want to smoke. The woman was shaking as she handed the cigarettes to me. I handed them back. She had to do it. She held her breath... and crushed them. It was awesome! With that one simple step, you could tell a burden was lifted. Just from that one choice, you could see the repentance process begin. It was cool.
Elder Walker and I tracted. A lot. One night, we came to a particular door, knocked, and waited. Out came a little old lady who, as far as I could tell, was literally glowing with the sheer joy and happiness she possessed. She smiled, and the first thing she said to us is "Well, isn't this unusual." We explained who we are and what we were doing, and she became even more surprised. Apparently, she'd never met missionaries before ("And I've been living here for 64 years!"). She's a "good Catholic," and loved the message we shared with her, but wasn't interested in learning more. But the whole time, she told us "You two are so unusual. Do you know that? Who does what you are doing?" Some college-age girls walked by and she said "They're probably very impressed with you because of what you are doing." (which is debatable). Regardless, she certainly brightened up my day and gave me a smile.
Brenda is doing great! We talked with her last night. For the past couple of weeks, our Ward Mission Leader has been encouraging us to reconsider teaching her. He's never met her though. We were thinking about it a lot, and finally decided we needed to have a "Come to Jesus" lesson and reset expectations to make sure she is actually worth our time to teach. And, for good measure, we brought the Mission Leader.
Holy cow. That lesson was like a bazooka of the spirit aimed right at the source of all evil. With our WML's help, we were able to explain to her baptism, ordinances, the church, the Gospel, prophets, authority, commitments, covenants, blessings, the atonement... all so clearly and powerfully. He fellow-shipped and invited and was just a pro. At the end of the lesson, she gave us a perfect Preach My Gospel answer: "So, you're not trying to take away from the things which I already know and do. You're trying to add to them." Yes, Brenda. Yes. No baptism date yet, but it's coming.
Immediately after that lesson, we stepped out of her house and were hailed down by a guy who was walking past. "HEY! Are you guys Mormons?" Our WML was the first to answer "Absolutely." We stopped right there, and he said he was looking for more in his life, and wanted to meet with us. He said we had tracted his neighborhood before, but he was in the shower. We said "Sure! When would you like to meet?" Without skipping a beat he said "Tomorrow." Sadly, we couldn't do it that day, but we did get an appointment for ACTUAL tomorrow, being Tuesday. We'll see where this goes. Just from our first impression of him, he might be the answer to our prayers for an investigator like Michael. We'll see.
So! Lots of cool stuff happened this week, but the rest of this transfer will be even better. Since we don't have to worry about exchanges anymore, we will be able to devote all of our time and attention to our own area and companionship. I only have 3 more weeks until the next transfer, and I very well could leave. We'll see what the Lord has in store for me.
Take care, yinz!
Love,
Elder Anderson, AKA Missionary Slim
*Actual figure dependent on your repentance and the mercy of the Lord.
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