Pittsburgh Mission Memoirs

We were having a bit of fun when we were writing to Slim this week. We rewrote the lyrics to "When you're a Professional Pirate" from Muppet Treasure Island for him. Hope you enjoy it. If you haven't seen the movie, it is worth it. It is one of our family favorites. He liked it and wanted to have it posted here to preserve it for posterity.

Have a great week, Missionary Slim's dad


(Singing: Elder Anderson)
When I was just a lad looking for my true vocation
My father said "Now son, this choice deserves deliberation
Though you could be a doctor or perhaps a financier
My boy why not consider a more challenging career"

(All the Elders)
Hey ho ho
You'll cruise to foreign shores
And you'll keep your mind and body sound
By working out of doors

(Elder Anderson)
True friendship and adventure are what we can't live without

(All:)
And when you're a Missionary

(Old Tom---(President Monson))
That's what the job's about

(Elder Anderson)s
(speaking)"Upstage, lads, this is my ONLY number!"

Now take Elder Dan Jones, the Ministers despised him
But to the Mormon's he's a hero and they idolize him
Its through the Holy Ghost we know the truth is good
And I see us as members of a noble brotherhood

(All the Elders)
Hey ho ho
We're honorable men
And before we lose our tempers we will always count to ten (Not that you would ever lose your temper)

(Elder Anderson)
On occasion you may be called upon to train a raw recruit

(All:)
And when your a Missionary

(Real Old Tom (L. Tom Perry))
You must always wear a suit..... what?

(Any Elder)
I could have been a D.L.
I like the gospel to impart

(Any Elder)
I could have been a Z.L.
But I just had too much heart

(Any Elder)
I could have been an AP
Cause I've always been a big spender

(Elder Anderson)
And me...just call me slender

(Elder Anderson)
Some say that missionaries preach awry and should be feared and hated
I say we're victims of bad press it's all exaggerated
We'd never stab you in the back, we'd never lie or cheat (I voted to change it...here is another possible line "We'll mow your grass, and teach you truth, and smile while on the street)
We're just about the nicest guys you'd ever want to meet


(All:)
Hey ho ho
It's one for all for one
And we'll share and share alike with you and love you like a son
We're messengers of truth and that's what we're proud to be
And when your a Missionary

(Elder Anderson)
You'll be honest brave and free
The soul of decency
You'll be loyal and fair and on the square
And most importantly

(All:)
When you're a Missionary
You're always in the best of company

This week was pretty lame. We had a lot of appointments drop. We walked from one end of Pittsburgh to the other, trying to teach our investigators. Alas - few were up for it. Regardless, there were still a lot of cool things that happened. I suppose you could say my life is never dull.

One thing that was apparent this week was the sheer number of unique people we met, ranging from peculiar, to downright strange, to awesome. Take, for example Ed.

We just started randomly talking to Ed as we walked by his house. He immigrated to the United States from Italy about 10 years ago, and hates it. He's so incredibly un-patriotic, and that includes for his own country as well. He speaks in a great accent, and has a lot of crazy wisdom and words to ponder. For example:

"I don't gamble. I think gambling is for idiots. These casino men, all they are is fishers. Yes, fishers. They cast in the line *makes the action*  and say 'oh, look here! Here's a huge sucker. Just reel him in, OH look at that one! He's a big bass!'" He told us his last name, but then said he changed it from Luciano. Why? Because he was running from his mob-boss father, Lucci Luciano. Yes, the one and only. Apparently, he's a big name in the Sicilian mafia, and we found his son!

This guy really needs the Gospel, though. When he told us about moving from LA, he said it was because he was getting away from anything that had to do with his late wife, because any time he thought of her, he cried. He cried right there on the porch in front of us. So, if all goes well, we should be visiting him later this evening.

We were walking through Homewood, after having several missed appointments. We weren't sure what to do or where to go, we were just walking wherever we felt prompted. Suddenly, somebody called out to us "Hey, Elders!" We walked over to a woman standing on her porch. She recognized us from when she was taught by the Elders 7 years before, and she missed their visits. Why did she stop talking to them? "Because I moved." It's as simple as that. So, we got her info, and should be back to visit her fairly soon.

The same thing happened the next day. We were walking, and somebody called out to us "The next time you walk by, will you remember my face?" This time, it was an Chinese woman, who's been in the US for a few years, but has yet to learn much about Christ, God, or religion of any kind. We talked to her for a bit too, but weren't able to get too far in the conversation or set up a return appointment.

There was another guy who we just talked to named Tony. He wasn't exactly a Christian, but I wouldn't say he was. He did believe strongly in God, however. We shared with him what we knew about God and Christ, and especially focused on prayer. We found out that he never said prayers of any kind - he never needed to ask for anything. We taught him the novel idea of praying in thanks. He got going on all of the things that God had given him and the things he was grateful for - his girlfriend, his home, his three cats... We left him in tears as well, thanking us for talking with him. Again, unfortunately, no return appointment.

Here's a cool thing: We did service for a woman in the ward who has a lot of black pride, and it certainly shows. Here's a sample:


One more cool thing. We've been trying to get in contact with a russian gentleman we met a few weeks ago named Bart, and finally got to chat with him! He came to pick us up and took us over to the church, while we talked on the way. He told us of his great respect for the Mormons, his love of family values, his growing up in Siberia, his life of fighting in the Soviet military, and his current work as husband and father. ("To shoot gun, it easy. Follow order, easy. To raise family - hard!" or "If you ask me what I am, I would say first husband, then father. Nothing else.") He's super sweet! Unfortunately, he's super busy too, especially with his wife in the hospital, and his strenuous work schedule. But, hopefully we hear more about him.

That's about it. Take care everybody!

Love,
Elder Alex Anderson, AKA Missionary Slim

The streets of Gotham, Pennsylvania darkened as storm clouds blew over. The wind fiercely blew; a fine mist swept in the air. And then, it began.

*begin playing Batman soundtrack*

Elder Anderson and Elder Walker stood, awestruck as torrential rain began to fall in sheets. Their place of shelter didn't last long; the windswept rain was quickly soaking their bodies. 

*music crescendos*

"We need to get out of here!" called Elder Walker over the din of rain colliding with the pavement.

"Let's get going!" Elder Anderson shouted back. With that, they plunged into the waterwall. 

*music intensifies*

Bad guys started popping up out of nowhere, shooting machine guns and stuff. They dodged the bullets while navigating the streets to where they could catch a bus to safety and dryness. None were to be found.

...

Yep. Elder Walker and I ran through the rain in the middle of Gotham, PA (called such because the new Batman movie was filmed here in Pittsburgh), and pretty much felt just like Bruce Wayne. We eventually did make it out of Downtown, but were completely drenched. And that stuff about the bad guys and machine guns was *completely* true.

Anyway, in case you couldn't tell, it's been a fun week for us. 

Brenda is doing fine. It's been difficult to see her, because she is busy preparing for a wedding this coming weekend, but our visits with her have always been very uplifting for everyone there. We finally sat her down and said "Look, we know our Church is true. Will you be baptized?" She didn't say no, but didn't say yes either. She told us she needs to find her answer before she can commit, which, in my opinion is the best answer she could have given. It means that she really does want to know if what we are saying is true, and isn't doing things just because we ask her. She's been having a difficult time getting her answer though because she is so busy all the time. So your prayers on her behalf would be incredibly appreciated. :D

We've been teaching a really great less-active member named Stephanie. She's been going to a baptist church, but told us she knows this church is the one true church - she just doesn't want to go. I know, funny how people are. We were able to help her understand the importance of church, and pretty much laid it out as directly as possible.

Elder Walker: "Stephanie, if the Savior himself were to ask you to come to the church which you know is true, would you do it?"

Stephanie: "Yeah, of course I would!"

Elder Anderson: "Well, Stephanie, as you probably know we are representatives of Jesus Christ..."

Stephanie: "Oh, darn you both."

Elder Walker: "...And we're inviting you to come to Church."

She's coming next Sunday.

Us missionaries have regulars. Those are the people you see every other day or so, who you've already invited to hear about the gospel, but they declined. Well, one of our regulars, Karen, is an absolute sweetheart. She loves to sit out on her porch and talk with the other ladies in her apartment building, and every time we pass, she calls out and says "Hey boys!"

Well, this past week she stopped us and questioned us: "What do y'all do anyway?" We explained that we teach people about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. "Oh. Well, y'all should come by sometime and teach me a thing or two!" We happily accepted and got a time scheduled. All that week before the appointment, we would pass by and say "We'll see you on Friday at 6:00!" She would call back "I look forward to it!" 

Well, the appointment itself was awesome. We jumped straight into answering her questions, and ended up teaching her the first half of the Plan of Salvation, along with a crash course in the Book of Mormon. When we were done, she told us how much she learned, and that we should do it again. The thing about Karen is she's been living there for several months and missionaries have been passing her every single day. I just feel blessed that Elder Walker and I get to be the ones to start teaching her. Baptism came up in the lesson, and she dodged it when we started to invite her to be baptized, but when she closed the lesson with prayer, she said "Bless me that I'll be able to get baptized!" Now we just need to help her choose the right church to be baptized into!

Tim and Caroline are the best. They are members of the ward - now. Caroline was baptized about a year ago, and has been strong and faithful ever since. She teaches the Gospel Principles class and is super excited to go through the temple next month. She's Italian, and was severely against the Church when missionaries first made contact. However, she turned her life completely around.

Her husband, Tim, has an even better story. He left the Church when he was 14. He ran away from home, got into all kinds of terrible things, and was eventually excommunicated outright. And he lived in misery ever since, at least until he came back in contact with the Church. He, too, turned his entire life around and exercised the Atonement to the best of his ability. After his wife was baptized, he waited anxiously for approval to be given by the First Presidency to allow for his own baptism.

He hasn't been able to take the sacrament. He hasn't been able to bear his testimony in Church. Heck, he couldn't even say a prayer publicly! But he patiently waited for approval to be given. Tim is such an incredible example of humility, patience, trust in God, hope, faith, love, and charity. He has had a lot of miserable things happen in the past year, but he remained steadfast.

His time finally came. Friday, we got a call from him. He was completely elated, and exclaimed "I'm gonna get baptized! I'm gonna get baptized!" We made no delay - the font was filled and he was baptized just this past Sunday evening. We were invited to come and experience what, to me, was the most spiritual baptism I have ever attended. He was so happy to have what he had lost returned to him. His joy was so great, his commitment genuine. It was such a blessing for us to be present and part of that. He and his wife cannot wait for that year to pass before they can both go to the temple to be sealed. That will be an incredible experience. 

My friends, let us not forget how precious a gift the Gospel is. Let us not take it for granted. Imagine what your life would be like without your covenants. I can tell you, I am so happy for them. There was a story which I didn't include, but suffice it to say I was faced with great evil. Thanks to my covenants, I was able to stand firm and overcome. I hope we all can do the same.

Love,
Elder Anderson, AKA Missionary Slim

I'll start this post off with a couple of random occurrences.

"Hey, you wanna joint?"

*Oh great.* I thought. These kids we were walking towards thought that it would be funny to let the missionaries get high. Ha. Nice try.

"No, no." said Elder Lucio, the elder that was with me for our exchange for the day. We kept walking. They laughed.

"Why not?" they called after us. I turned around, ready to teachify to these kids.

"Do you really want to know why not?" I asked them. Most of them said no, but the one with the blunt in his hand said "Yeah, I wanna know."

"Well, we believe in a prophet who receives revelation from God..." From there, I taught him that we received the Word of Wisdom through the prophet, what it entails, and how it blesses us. They laughed again and started walking away. "Hey!" I yelled after them, "Now that I've taught you the Word of Wisdom, will you follow it?"

"Ha. No."

Oh well. At least I tried.

Later that day, Elder Lucio and I were walking by a baptist church which was having a block party. As we came up, the people at the front saw us and had that look on their faces: "Oh no, these guys are going to preach to us!" We smiled and waved and their whole attitude changed. "Come on in! Have a hotdog! Have a drink!" They ushered us around, showing us all the activities they had. "This is Pastor Franklin, the youth pastor, and this is Deacon Marshall. Oh, and this - this is Pastor Harris. He's the pastor of this church." He smiled as wide as he could and shook our hands. "Hello, Gentlemen, hello." He was very friendly, explained a little bit about the party and why they were putting it on, invited us to his church's services, and then started to contend. I tried my hardest not to get into an argument - bear testimony, and let it die. "Our beliefs are actually very similar - we believe that Christ is our savior and that he atoned for our sins." He went on about Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon for what seemed like forever after that, saying some of the most insulting, rude, and ignorant things I've ever heard come out of the mouth of any man who claims to be a preacher of the Word. The whole time we were talking to him, all he wanted to do was get into a bible bash, and we were trying to stay out of contention. He even had the audacity to say "Maybe a year from now, instead of having your name tag say 'The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints', it'll say 'Intercity Ministries.' Ha Ha Ha." I didn't laugh. I explained to him that I could never take the name of Christ off of me, told him I knew by a personal witness the Book of Mormon was true. Eventually he simmered down and we were able to leave on good terms, but I can promise you one thing - there is no way I'll be attending his services.

The day before, Elder Walker and I were walking down the street when we came across a huge family having a barbeque. They were all laughing, joking, and as far as I could tell, didn't even have any alcohol. We walked by, and said hi. They said hi back, and then said "Hey, it's her birthday!" pointing to one of the people. We came over and said happy birthday, and even offered to sing her a happy birthday song. She accepted. I wanted to sing "You've had a birthday, shout hooray!" but Elder Walker didn't feel like it. We did sing just about the best performance of "Happy birthday to you" I've ever heard in my life. That got us right into talking to them about our purpose as missionaries, and even teaching them a little too.

Later this week, we were tracting past a church: "The Church of St. Raphael the Archangel." I wondered to myself, who is St. Raphael the Archangel, and where is he in the bible? I figured I'd ask the people whose doors we were knocking on. Nearly every single one of them was a member of that church, and none of them could tell me what it meant. Door after door, I'd ask, but nobody could tell me!

While it is good that I have a testimony for myself that the Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith and the Church is true, it just stands as additional witnesses to me when I come across these other churches and the people from them. Granted, these people are trying their hardest with the light and truth which they have to follow the Savior to the best of their abilities. But I know who my church belongs to. I know who it is named after, and who runs it. It is the Church of Jesus Christ. I know that we are led and guided by a true prophet, and that the scriptures are true. There is no doubt in my mind of these things. I know that these things are true because I have put in the work - I have followed the commandments and have seen the blessings. I have fasted and prayed and received the witness from the spirit, like in Alma 5:45-47. I know it is true.

Take Care!
Love,
Elder Anderson, AKA Missionary Slim

The people out here are awesome. I'm just going to say it flat out - they are amazing. They're as crazy as always, but nearly everyone wants to listen to our message. We run into people on the street all the time who come up to us and say "Hey, aren't you the Mormons? I want to talk with you guys." It's uncanny, but excellent. These people have had some of the most amazing experiences too. One guy told us about how he was run over by a truck and walked away from that. Another person told us of how, through Christ, they were able to recover from many addictions. Granted, there are still a few people who are a little... off.

For example, one guy was trying to prove to us that Christ was none other than Melchizedek, which makes a lot of sense, actually. I was surprised he was able to learn as much as he did just from the limited information he has in the Bible. Of course, if he had the Book of Mormon (he wouldn't take a copy, unfortunately), he would know that Melchizedek was just a type (or symbol, or forerunner) of Christ (see Alma 13). But, kudos for actually searching the scriptures for answers!

We knocked on another gentleman's door so we could deliver a DVD about Christ. Like all doors, we weren't sure what to expect. It could be a family, it could be a really old person, it could be the most dangerous man in the world. The guy who answered was none. He was only wearing a pair of shorts and was completely drenched, head to toe. "What do you want?" he said. We introduced ourselves, and the guy started laughing. "Oh great!" he said, "Jesus came to interrupt my bubble bath." He was actually pretty pleasant, considering we made him get out of his suds just so we could share the gospel with him.

There's this amazing woman we've been teaching, Eunice. She's been taught by the missionaries before, a long time ago. But she moved, lost contact, and forgot about the church. Well, lo and behold, two missionaries come knocking on her door (not us, the missionaries before Elder Walker and I). We've been teaching her, reminding her of what she's been taught, and it all rings true to her. She takes in and loves everything we say and everything we read. She's been so prepared through her entire life for the gospel, and I feel so blessed to be able to give it to her. She's spent the last several years of her life fighting her addictions, and she's pretty much completely over all of them! People like that just make me so happy! She reminds me that, no matter what I'm going through, I can overcome it.

It's been a scorcher here. Actually, from the sound of things, it's been a scorcher everywhere. Fortunately, it isn't dry out here so we aren't having any fires like they are out west (I'll be praying for those families that are hurt by those fires). But, being humid, it feels like it's 10 times hotter than it really is. And since we don't have a car, we are at the mercy of the people. If we have lots of lessons, we're good. But if those lessons fall through, we're dead.

Well, Friday was one of those dangerously hot days. 101 degrees, 80% humidity, and Elder Walker and I were in the middle of nowhere, tired, out of water, and overheating super fast. On top of that, Elder Walker really had to go. Yep, that kind of go. He was starting to get desperate, so we decided to hike up a hill to where there was a discreet grove of trees. As we hike up the hill, down come Bro. Gehrin, one of the members. I swear, as he crested the hill, rolled down his window, and yelled, "Hop in!" fanfare was playing somewhere in the distance.

He took us to his home, filled our water bottles, and let Elder Walker, uh, go. The least we could do in exchange was share a message with him. We taught a little bit about Christlike attributes (Chapter 6 of Preach My Gospel - they're super great!), and he brought us to our next appointment. As we were getting out of the car, he said "Guys, I want to thank you so much. I was having a really bad day before I found you, and you really made it better." That was the best!

So, was that a coincidence that Bro. Gehrin decided to take that obscure route home, or a miracle? ;)

We went out to knock on more doors the next day. We knock on the first. Nothing. Behind us, a car pulls up. Two guys get out and we start talking to them. They mentioned that they're starting a band, and Elder Walker started telling them about his musical exploits. They really broke the ice well. These guys also talked to the missionaries before us, but this time, they expressed real interest in what we had to say and invited us into their home, which happened to be the next door we would have knocked on. We talked to them, answered their questions, and really helped them understand the restoration.

One more thing. We went to have dinner with a member. Check out the picture of his home.




Yep. I'm not in Kansas anymore.

Take care, everyone. God loves you all, don't forget that. And so do I.

Love,
Elder Alex Anderson, AKA Missionary Slim